What You’ll Learn Today:

  • Why it’s so important to create consensus decision-making in your relationship
  • What three components consensus decision-making has to have and 
  • My five-step process for making it happen

Top Take-A-Ways:

Decision-making in relationships can be tough. Often, the individuals in a partnership end up coming out of any deliberation thinking they’ve lost more than their partner. There’s a feeling of someone winning and someone losing instead of a shared resolution. This is because of the competition that’s present in the vast majority of relationships. 

As many of you know, I take a lot of my best tips from the business world. Successful businesses have to run on some sort of consensus decision-making at some points in their processes if they’re going to grow and be competitive. Couples need to adopt this same philosophy. 

In a business, consensus decision-making is a process where two or more people create and agree to support a decision because it’s in the best interest of the team, group or company. It’s a common goal they all back. Even if the outcome isn’t each individual’s favorite result, they get on board in the end. 

There are a few important components that are part of consensus decision-making: 

  1. It’s fair: everyone has equal input into the process (but not equal input into the final decision and this is key)
  2. It’s collaborative: each person’s input is actively solicited and valued
  3. It’s cooperative: it’s not about competing for individual preferences; it’s taken on with an intention of working together and uniting. 

When you find yourself in any kind of argument, disagreement, stand off or gridlock, use this formula to get yourselves connecting.

Step One: Set an Intention to be Curious

Step Two: Ask Questions Instead of Making Statements

Step Three: Use I Feel Statements

Step Four: Communicate Relentlessly

Step Five: One Person Makes the Final Decision 

Resources and Links:

Ep. 002 Keeping Score Makes You Lose



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