052 If You Want Your Partner to Change, Do This.

What You’ll Learn Today:

  1. Accepting your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be
  2. The critical difference between loving your partner and accepting your partner 
  3. The 5 healthy things you can do when you want to change your partner 

Top Take-A-Ways:

How many of you listening to this right now are trying to change things in your partner that were there from the beginning? You know, like maybe she was late to your first date (or first few) but now it drives you bonkers that she’s late to everything. 

Or maybe you’re with someone who has never shared his feelings but now, ten years in, you find yourself complaining, “He never tells me anything! I can’t read his mind!”

People are who they are, right at the beginning of any relationship. 

So, does this mean that you and your partner can’t work towards being different? Of course not. But you’ve got to know a few things first. 

The key to any happy relationship isn’t unconditional love, it’s unconditional acceptance. 

When we don’t accept our partners, and continually try to change them, we both become resentful, distant and disconnected. How can you truly feel that someone loves you if you feel that, at a very basic level, they don’t like or accept who you are? 

So, if you want your partner to change, start by accepting them for who they are.

Here are the five strategies to create lasting change in your relationship and how you feel about your partner:

1. Change Your Mind;

2. Seek to Understand;

3. Change the Situation;

4. Assume Your Wrong;

5. Compliment or appreciate your partner for their differences.

Resources and Links:

To ask better questions you can read this blog post: Bad Questions are Ruining Your Relationship

Or listen to Episode 05 How to Effectively Deal with Conflict in Your Relationship

 

 

Get my Five Strategies When You Want to Change Your Partner Cheat Sheet. Hang them on your fridge and come back to them often so you can create a happy, connected relationship even if your partner won’t do a thing. Sign up below!

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