With our featured guest, Dr. Gary Salyer, today you’ll learn:

  • To identify your love style
  • What is attachment and what does it have to do with being in love?
  • The four feelings to create lasting love 

Top Take-A-Ways:

My guest today is Dr. Gary D. Salyer, a transformational relationship coach who helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains.  Dr. Salyer is a nationally recognized speaker and is the creator of the Safe to Love Again™ Workshop and the Extraordinary Couples™ Retreat.  He is the author of the forthcoming book, Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve which you’ll learn all about on today’s podcast.

Take this quick quiz to discover your love style

Read A, B, and C and see what resonates with you the most:

A: I’m to some extent uncomfortable being close to others. I find it difficult to trust them completely, and so I find it hard to allow myself to depend on them. I’m nervous when anyone gets too close. Often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. I can only offer so much.

B: Being close to others I love is simple and uncomplicated. I’m relaxed. Depending on them and letting my partner depend on me feels good. In fact, I expect it. I don’t worry about getting dumped or deserted much. Someone getting close to me is usually okay and feels good. 

C: I’m sometimes disappointed that others are hesitant or unwilling to get as close as I would like. I’m often concerned that my beloved doesn’t love me like I love them, or isn’t as committed as I am. I want complete and total intimacy with my romantic partners. Yet my need for closeness can sometimes scare my partners away.

  • If you thought A best fits you, then you have an Avoidant Love Style
  • If you found B to feel right, you have a Secure Love Style 
  • If you resonated with C then you have an Anxious Love Style

Knowing your love style will help you identify what you need to create lasting love in your current relationship. 

In addition, there are four feelings to create lasting love: 

  • Welcomed with Joy
  • Worthy and Nourished
  • Cherished and Protected
  • Empowered with Choice

When one or more of these aren’t present in our relationship, or we just don’t see them due to past hurt, we become stuck in anxious or avoidant love styles.

Resources and Links:

There are free resources on Dr. Salyer’s website: https://garysalyer.com

If you’d like to order Dr. Salyer’s book, you can find it here: https://garysalyer.com/orderbook/ 


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