Relationships Aren’t Fair

 Nothing in a relationship is “fair” or equal if you look at it from a time perspective. The problem with looking at your relationship from a time perspective is that it doesn’t take into account the value of what’s being done, irrespective of time. I’m...

Competing Stops You from Listening and Connecting

 Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar: You’ve set up the car pools for the kids for the week, you’ve shopped for and made dinner (and this was difficult because of little Jimmy’s recently diagnosed gluten allergy), you’ve emailed back and forth all day...

The Real Problem in Your Relationship

 There’s a lot going on in today’s relationships: commutes, work, deadlines, keeping the house together, fitting in time with friends, self-care, and just the general maintenance of life leaves many couples feeling exhausted at the end of the day. When you...

How the Law of Attraction Works in Your Relationship

 Today you’re going to learn how the law of attraction really works in your relationship. To get us there, we’re going to need to take a small (I promise) detour down a quantum science road, but you’ve got to know about quantum to understand that the law...

Change How You Feel with this Easy Tool

  Albert Ellis, considered by many to be the grandfather of cognitive-behavioral therapies, founded RET in 1955. His theory was revolutionary at the time (and maybe to you now), because it centered around the idea that individuals tend to think that...

Complaining is as Bad for You as Bacon (and just as satisfying)

 Some research shows that people complain once a minute during a typical conversation. Why the heck do we complain? The simple answer: because it feels good. If you’re not happy in your relationship, complaining can become a really nasty habit. Not only is...

How to Figure Out the Real Cause of a Problem

 In the business world we have lots of great tools for what we call “Root Cause Analysis” or RCA. This is usually part of quality management in a company. Root Cause Analysis is just what it sounds like: you’re trying to break down what seems like a big...

If You Want Your Partner to Change, Do This

 My friend and colleague, Tess Brigham, always says, “If you don’t want to live on a farm in Idaho, don’t marry an Idaho farmer.” I totally agree! People are who they are, right at the beginning of any relationship. I don’t necessarily mean those first few...

The 5 Step Formula for Getting to Consensus

 Decision-making in relationships can be tough. Often, the individuals in a partnership end up coming out of any deliberation thinking they’ve given up more than their partner. There’s a feeling of someone winning and someone losing instead of a shared...

How Attached Are You in Your Relationship?

 In the 1940s, John Bowlby, a developmental psychologist and psychiatrist was interested in what happened when children and caregivers were separated for brief or longer amounts of time. He believed that how we attached to these caregivers affected our...

How to Make Your Partner Feel Like a Priority

 To understand how to make your partner feel like a priority, you first have to think about how you know you’re a priority to your own partner. When I gave a quick survey to my tribe, here are some of the answers I received:My partner taking my needs into...