Distraction is the termites of your relationship. It eats at the core and creates an environment where people feel unappreciated, unloved and dismissed.
Getting out of distraction is critical to creating a healthy, connected and happy relationship. The good news is that it’s not as hard as you think. All it takes is that you make mindfulness a habit.
Making Mindfulness a Habit
With mindfulness, you’re aware of what you’re thinking so you don’t let your thoughts and feelings blindly drive your actions and behaviors. Mindfulness puts you in control of your life and gives you a pause button, instead of just reacting to a given stimulus. It helps you know that feelings aren’t facts and you can respond thoughtfully to something instead of just reacting without thinking. So, if your partner leaves the toilet seat up again (stimulus), you don’t threaten divorce (unthinking reaction).
I’d like you to start a mindful practice by doing the following:
- Set a reminder on your phone to alert you 3x per day for one week. I don’t care what the times are, but try to spread them out (maybe 9:00, 1:00 and 6:00).
- When you hear the alert, simply notice where your mind was. What were you thinking about?
- Gently bring your focus back to the present (as non-judgmentally as possible). Be kind to yourself and just bring your awareness back to the present moment.
This exercise is the BEST bang for your buck. In just seconds you’ll get your here and now focus. By doing this exercise, you’ll train your brain so it will be mindful at other times without the cue of the reminder alert on your phone. It’s amazing – you’ll see results in just a day or two!
This exercise will definitely get you on your way but it’s always nice to have other options. That’s why I created this Mindfulness Tips Starter Kit with 3 great exercises to get you mindful in no time!
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