In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- The three components of communication
- The difference between your conscious and unconscious minds
- The 3-step process for communicating effectively when it comes to your unconscious mind
If we’re going to talk about communication, I want to make sure we’re on the same page first. At its very core, communication refers to receiving information. If you’re the sender of this information (i.e., the one talking) you want whatever you’re saying to be heard, understood or “received” on the other side. If you’re the recipient (i.e., the one who’s listening to someone else talking or giving info to you) then the same applies. You want to understand the information thereby “receiving it.”
You talking at someone isn’t sending the information you want. The other person isn’t listening to your content or they’re dismissing so much of what you’re saying.
If you want your information to be received, you need to be aware of these three components of communication:
- Your body language
- The actual language you use and (most importantly)
- Your underlying unconscious motivations – what you’re communicating unconsciously
Today we’re going to talk about your unconscious.
Why Do You Care So Much About the Unconscious Abby?
I care so much about your unconscious because it’s at the base of ALL your communications. Because: People don’t hear what you say, they hear what you mean!
And then they act accordingly.
You’ve absolutely GOT to align what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling (your conscious and unconscious motivations), or your communication isn’t going to be as effective as you want (if at all).
If you want to start communicating effectively here’s your three-step process:
Step #1: Come from Love, Not Fear
Step #2: Ask Yourself Some Questions
- What am I feeling right now?
- What’s my endgame with this conversation? What are you hoping to get out of having this conversation? If you’ve had the conversation before, it means whatever you’re saying isn’t working – are you just wanting to bitch or complain?
Step #3: Act like the person you want to be
In one of my favorite books: Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious by Timothy Wilson, he’s clear that, if you want to align your conscious and unconscious mind, a great place to start is to deliberately act like the person you want to be.
To do that, you need to change your behavior. As Wilson eloquently puts it:
“Act your way into a new way of being.”
Resources and Links:
Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the adaptive unconscious by Timothy Wilson
I’ve got a challenge for you: I call it the “Align Your Mind Challenge.” Go download the Align Your Mind Quicksheet, start the challenge, and watch your life change for the better in just a week!
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