Here we are in our last week of Goodbye Negative Thinking Month! For the last 2 weeks, I’ve been laying out the pillars of the Goodbye Negative Thinking Trinity: First, we discussed the importance of starting each day with positive momentum. Then last week I taught you the second pillar which was all about calibrating and being the dominant vibration in the room.

Today, we’re going to discuss the last pillar of the Goodbye Negative Thinking Trinity which helps you keep that positive momentum going ALL DAY LONG! AND I’ve got another free fabulous gift for you to make it easier than ever to stop your negative thinking!

Now – let’s get to this third pillar of the Goodbye Negative Thinking Trinity: Intention Chunking. It’s only going to take minutes of your day and the bang you get for this buck is life-changing!!

We’ve got to chat about that RAS again!

Your RAS is a filter between your conscious brain and your subconscious. Specifically, it takes instructions from your conscious mind and passes them on to your subconscious. You’re constantly giving your RAS instructions by what you’re thinking about – the problem is that you don’t even realize it.

So, if you’re thinking, “I’m stuck,” or “the world is a horrible place,” or “my boss hates me” the RAS hears this as the instruction or order to look for those things!

The good news is that you can deliberately program the RAS by thoughtfully choosing the exact messages you send, and Intention Chunking is a great way to get there!

Intention Chunking

Intention chunking is basically setting an intention with every new “chunk” of your day. Every time you move from one activity to another, you’re going to stop and set an intention for how you want that next chunk of time to be.

Every time you enter into a new activity, phase or situation in your day, your intentions are changing. Let me take you through my morning before starting work:

  • I wake up and, as my feet hit the floor, I set an intention to have an amazing day and notice all the possibilities that present themselves.
  • Before going in the shower, my intention is to relax and enjoy the feel of the warm water.
  • Then my intention shifts as I make breakfast. Now I want to bring my energy up a little and eat mindfully.
  • Before I go wake up my kids for school, I set an intention to be warm, nurturing and connecting with them
  • Before getting too involved with my day, I make sure to take time in the morning to set intention with Gary – usually it’s to be filled with loving and enthusiastic emotion for him.
  • When I’m driving to work my intention is to pay attention, get there safely and notice something fun or interesting along the way.
  • When I’m readying myself for my first client of the day, my intention is to listen really well and be of service.

With each new chunk of time I want you to think to yourself, “What do I want to see happen or feel in this next chunk of time?” When you just go along on autopilot in your day, you end up reacting to things as they come.

Let’s think of some specific examples:

Picture you, your partner and your kids driving to visit your parents (you can insert anyone you want on this drive) who live four hours away.

Without Intention Chunking you’re on autopilot. You’re caught up in making sure the kids get some exercise before having to sit in the car for so long. You pester your partner with a bunch of “to do’s” before the drive. You’re trying to straighten up, so you don’t come home to a mess. You’re dreading the drive because your partner will want to listen to one of their boring podcasts or that music you don’t like, and you just know there’s going to be some tension. You’re worried about the kids having activities in the car for so long. While you’re packing up drinks and snacks to take along, you’re thinking about how your dad is going to ask again about your work and what you’re doing for that promotion. Meanwhile, your mom will be passive aggressive and criticize your parenting but all with a smile. Sigh.

Can you feel the energy of all that? Sound familiar?

Now, let’s do some Intention Chunking before the drive:

  • I’m wanting this time of cooking breakfast for my kids to be filled with feelings of love and connection. I love my kids so much. I’m so grateful that they’re in my life. I learn so much about myself as I watch my kids living their lives.
  • It’s so great to see the world through the eyes of my 3-year-old. Everything’s so new and exciting. I love feeling the curiosity and endless possibilities that are before us.
  • We’re going to have a lovely ride together.
  • We’re going to laugh and bond as a family.
  • We’re going to get there safely and calmly.
  • It’s my intention that we get along well and have fun.
  • It’s my intention that I have a great day today and connect with my parents in new ways I haven’t even thought of yet.
  • I’m happily anticipating an amazing day today.
  • There will be so many cool things that happen today.
  • I know that life is good for me and I’m anticipating lots of good things to show up today in lots of different ways.
  • This is going to be a wonderful day with lots of new understandings and conversations that open me up in amazing ways.
  • I’m looking forward to seeing my kids interact with my parents in new ways.
  • I’m looking forward to showing my partner how much I love and appreciate them.
  • Anytime something comes up today that might have bothered me previously, I’m going to see it through the eyes of patience and love.
  • I’m so happy that things don’t bother me the way they used to.

Here’s another scenario. Let’s say you’ve had an argument with a friend. Before you meet with them, you do some Intention Chunking:

  • I’m wanting our interaction to be mutually satisfying.
  • I want to see my friend through new eyes that find the good everywhere with them.
  • I’m eagerly looking forward to having this conversation so we can forge a new level in our relationship and become even closer!
  • I’m looking forward to being in more alignment with my friend.
  • I want our conversation to come together easily, succinctly and with so much kindness.
  • I want both of us to walk away feeling even more connected.
  • I want both of us to walk away feeling enthusiastic for this new understanding we have with one another and excited about our future together as friends.

And here’s a general scenario before going into a meeting at work. You say to yourself:

  • I’m going to be the dominant positive vibration in this meeting.
  • Everyone in attendance is going to be open to new ideas.
  • We’re all going to collaborate and feel creative!
  • Everyone’s going to listen and really hear one another.
  • I expect that everyone in the meeting has my best interests at heart, just like I have theirs.
  • My goal is to be a leader and contributor to great things in this meeting.”

With Intention Chunking, you say what you intend to happen You’re no longer reacting to what happens around you. You’re creating what happens around you.

Plan Your Feelings!

Think of this, you plan all kinds of things in your world. You plan vacations, work days, and budgets. You create to-do lists and plan events. Why wouldn’t you plan your feelings?!?


I want to end this month of saying goodbye to negative thinking with this: it’s not about trying to keep negative thoughts away – because that, in a way, attracts them.

Instead, it’s about feeling good as often as possible. That’s where I want you to focus. It’s about being as proactive as possible in your positive thoughts. Get ahead of it. Start the positive momentum early with calibrating and Intention Chunking throughout your day.

My free gift this week is a short guided visualization to stop negative thinking. Listen to it any time of the day to help you direct your thoughts in a positive direction!

You might think that your default is negativity or negative self-talk, and that might be true right now, but it’s learned. You can change your mental patterns with consistent practice so that you have new, more positive default settings in your brain. When you repeat what I’m teaching you over and over, you rewire your brain. You create new neural pathways through a process called neuroplasticity. The same process that hard-wired in the negativity, can hard-wire in more positivity.


Get your free guided visualization to stop negative thinking right here!

Resources and Links

The Secret to Positive Thinking in All Your Relationships

How to Make Mindfulness a Habit

How to Set Intention in 18 Seconds (aka The 18-Second Shift)

 Ready to find out what goes on inside that crazy mind of Abby’s? 

Subscribe & Review in iTunes
Are you subscribed to my podcast yet? Well, what are you waiting for? You know you want to make your relationship awesome and getting a weekly reminder on specific ways to do just that is a perfect way to get there! Click here to subscribe in iTunes
If you’re up for giving me some extra love, I’d be so very grateful if you’d leave me a review over on iTunes too (make iTunes a link). Reviews help other people find my podcast and they’re also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you so much!
Dr. Abby with her Book "Be Happily Married, Even If Your Partner Won't Do A Thing"


Create a happy, connected relationship, even if your partner won’t do a thing! Get my Amazon #1 best-selling book: Be Happily Married Even if Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing.

Relationships Made Easy with Dr. Abby Medcalf Podcast


Get your weekly dose of inspiration to keep you on track!

Relationships Made Easy with Dr. Abby Medcalf Podcast


Build a connected, loving relationship with the FREE Communication Tool Kit for Couples.


Most Popular Episodes



Are you dealing with family stress? Lashing out at your mom for that condescending thing she said? Feeling guilty that you’re avoiding your dad because he drives you crazy? Today you’re going to learn my top three tips to not get triggered by family so you can find...



What do you do when an extended family member is creating a toxic atmosphere at family gatherings? How do you draw boundaries and feel seen and heard when dealing with toxic family relationships? I'm going deep on this question in today's episode! Ask Dr. Abby is the...

Get your weekly dose of inspiration to keep you on track!

Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you motivated to stay on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself)!

Get your weekly love letter with all things Abby and life

Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself)!

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Get your weekly newsletter with all things Abby and life

Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself)!

You have Successfully Subscribed!