My goal with this series, Best Relationship Advice, is to give you some tips that you can deploy and see positive results in a relatively short amount of time.
Today we’re focusing on tips that will give you positive results the SAME DAY (or in a super short amount of time – give me a break here, I’m a Relationship Maven not a Miracle Maven).
I’m not sure exactly how many “rounds” this series will have but I can tell you it’ll be more than this one (you know me, I can’t shut up).
So, let’s get to it:
Quick Win Tip #1: Have a Sense of Urgency
When we have a sense of urgency we get shit done! Creating an artificial deadline is an excellent way to get things out of the slow lane and into the fast lane. If you go to the gym to “get into shape” you likely won’t do as well as if you joined the gym to train for a 5K you’ve signed up for that’s happening next month. See what I mean?
Take your relationship off the back burner and put it on the front burner TODAY. Start acting like it’s a priority RIGHT NOW and you’ll see amazing things start to change. Give yourself a timeline: “I’m committed to making my relationship great by X date” (maybe seven or 30 days from now) and watch what happens. Make the change, commit to the change and stop waiting.
Quick Win Tip #2: Keep Your Promises: Especially to Yourself
If you want to build trust in your relationship, you’ve got to build trust in yourself first. This means, when you say you’re going to do something, you do it, no matter what.
Quick Win Tip #3: Focus on Appreciation (not Gratitude)
Gratitude and appreciation are different. While it’s great to be grateful in your relationship and life, to really transform your relationship you want to focus on appreciating your partner as much as possible, every day.
Appreciation is in the here and now. It means you’re present in your relationship and noticing “all the things.” As you bring this present focus into your relationship, you’ll feel the shift immediately. It’s a means of looking at your partner in a different way because you’re looking for what’s good and what’s working in each moment.
Quick Win Tip #4: Set Intention before you see your partner
I talk about setting intention a lot because IT’S A GAME CHANGER!
Setting intention means having your intentions or your thoughts consciously directed toward a desired outcome.
Quick Win Tip #5: Be Your Partner’s Biggest Cheerleader
NEVER talk shit about your partner or complain about them to a bunch of different people or people who aren’t supportive of your relationship. If you have a problem with your partner, you should be having that conversation with them, not with anyone else.
Resources and Links:
If you want to learn more about why I call setting intention the 18-Second Shift, you can watch me chat about it right here.