If You Want Your Partner to Change, Do This

 My friend and colleague, Tess Brigham, always says, “If you don’t want to live on a farm in Idaho, don’t marry an Idaho farmer.” I totally agree! People are who they are, right at the beginning of any relationship. I don’t necessarily mean those first few...

The 5 Step Formula for Getting to Consensus

 Decision-making in relationships can be tough. Often, the individuals in a partnership end up coming out of any deliberation thinking they’ve given up more than their partner. There’s a feeling of someone winning and someone losing instead of a shared...

How Attached Are You in Your Relationship?

 In the 1940s, John Bowlby, a developmental psychologist and psychiatrist was interested in what happened when children and caregivers were separated for brief or longer amounts of time. He believed that how we attached to these caregivers affected our...

How to Make Your Partner Feel Like a Priority

 To understand how to make your partner feel like a priority, you first have to think about how you know you’re a priority to your own partner. When I gave a quick survey to my tribe, here are some of the answers I received:My partner taking my needs into...

How to be Heard in Any Relationship

 Does any of this sound familiar?“You’re not listening to me!” “You misunderstood what I said!”“We just discussed this last yesterday – how could you forget already?!”Or, have you ever been chatting with someone and kind of “woke up” in the middle of the...

The Secret to Changing (Relationship) Habits

 Creating a great relationship is all about creating great relationship habits: getting into the habit of thinking of the other person’s needs; getting into the habit of really listening and being present when your partner says something; or getting into...

What Anxiety Really Is and How to Deal with It

  I know this will sound familiar. You’re watching the Nature Channel and you see an antelope grazing somewhere on the savannah. He’s walking placidly along, dipping his head as he chews on the grass. Suddenly, he lifts his head and his ears prick...

How to Stop Stress from Hurting Your Relationship

 There’s a bunch of research out there showing that your relationship is worse off when you or your partner are under stress. A fight with your friend, money woes, that nasty commute, little Jimmy’s newly diagnosed gluten allergy, and those long work days,...

8 Habits of Happy and Successful Couples

 Want to have a connected, happy and fulfilled relationship? Here are the 8 habits you can start practicing today to be on your way:1. Be Interested: pay attention to your partner. This might seem like a “no-brainer” but it’s very common for couples to be...

The Dos and Don’ts if Your Partner Cheated

 What constitutes cheating?There’s no “one” action that defines cheating. For example, I’m fine with porn in my own relationship. I can watch it, he can watch it and we can watch it together. However, for some of you listening right now you’re thinking: I...

Can You Ever Trust Your Partner Again if They Cheated?

 One of the consistent reasons people walk in my door is because their partner cheated. The big question they always ask next is: How can I ever trust this person again? The good news is that the answer to this question isn’t as complicated as you...