SHAME: THE SILENT KILLER IN RELATIONSHIPS

That little voice inside your head tells you: “You look like crap in those jeans.” “You can’t really trust her.” “I knew you couldn’t do it.” “You’re all alone.” “If he really knew you, he wouldn’t love you.” Shame doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter if you’re fat...

IS SELF-COMPASSION THE SECRET TO A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP?

Last week I chatted with you about the juncture of self-esteem and self-confidence. Today I’m going to teach you: The three components of self-compassion Why it’s so important to your love life (and all your relationships) Why some think it’s even more important than...

EIGHT WAYS TO BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM

We all want to feel better about ourselves. We want to feel confident about our way in the world and let go of the negative self-talk, anxiety, and self-consciousness. Having higher self-esteem and confidence are linked to more robust physical and mental health, less...

ARE YOU FALLING INTO THE SNUGGIE TRAP?

If you’re as old as me, you’ll remember commercials “back in the day” for Snuggies. Snuggies are still around (I just Googled that to make sure) but if you haven’t seen one before, imagine a big hoodie and a blanket having a baby. Yes, a Snuggie is basically a...

EIGHT RULES FOR GIVING GREAT FEEDBACK

So, I’ve said this a lot of times now. Don’t SAC your relationship. Don’t make Suggestions, offer Advice or Criticize. The reaction I get most often to this is, “What? So I can never tell my partner, mother, coworker (insert person who is annoying you here) anything...

YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE MAKING YOU UNHAPPY

Last week I told you that to be happy in your life and relationship, you needed to keep your standards high and your expectations low. We went over how to identify your standards and how to keep those boundaries.This week is all about those pesky expectations in your...

YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE HIGH STANDARDS AND LOW EXPECTATIONS

Today I’m going to talk about why you need to have high standards and low expectations. The big problem is that most people have it reversed. They have low standards but high expectations. In other words, most people will accept all kinds of bad behavior from other...

HOW TO GET OUT OF NEGATIVE THINKING

If I had to write down the number one complaint I hear from my clients it would be: “But I just can’t stop thinking about it.” Clients come in all the time saying that they just can’t stop playing a certain scenario over and over again in their mind or they just can’t...

GETTING OUT OF THE ROOMMATE RUT

There’s no time of year like the beginning of January to prompt a re-assessment of our habits and impassioned resolutions to “better ourselves” – and it’s a new decade, no less. While the majority of us are out signing up for that shiny new gym membership, many of us...

GRATITUDE IS A GATEWAY DRUG

Last week we discussed appreciation and how it’s different than gratitude. I talked about how appreciation is all about being in the here and now and, by noticing it, you turn it from a neutral event into a positive one, thereby seeing it with new eyes. Today we’re...

WHY APPRECIATION IS DIFFERENT THAN GRATITUDE

I’ve been noticing for a while now that people use the terms gratitude and appreciation interchangeably and they’re not interchangeable. They have two separate meanings and two distinct ways they show up in a fulfilled, happy, balanced life. Today I’m going to break...