How do you build a healthy relationship? I get asked this question A LOT!
In today’s broadcast I’m going to share my top tools for building a strong, connected, loving relationship (this works with your partner or anyone else you encounter, by the way).
Your Reticular Activating System (RAS) is screwing you up and you don’t even realize it! If you’ve got someone who won’t listen to this podcast, you can send them to this little video I made and they can learn all about it in just three minutes!
In the end, you’ve got to consciously program your RAS to look for what you want, not what you don’t want.
Are you working from a Growth or a Fixed Mindset? This is the work of the amazing Carol Dweck who says, “Just as there are no great achievements without setbacks, there are no great relationships without conflicts and problems along the way.”
In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.
In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.”
This applies to your relationship. Do you think things can really change? Do you have a growth mindset? Does your partner? Do you have a growth mindset view of your relationship?
Acting like a victim or blaming keeps you locked in a fixed mindset
Watch your language to stay in a growth mindset:
- Use the word “yet” (my husband hasn’t made that change yet); it’s growth mindset and means things can change. They just haven’t change
- Get out of never and always language. It’s totally fixed mindset and won’t help you problem-solve.