How the Law of Attraction Works in Your Relationship

Today you’re going to learn how the law of attraction really works in your relationship. To get us there, we’re going to need to take a small (I promise) detour down a quantum science road, but you’ve got to know about quantum to understand that the law of attraction is a real thing and not a bunch of woo. If you want to create a happy, fulfilling life and relationship, you’ve got to know this stuff. 

First, we need to talk about energy. You’re basically a walking, talking ball of energy with a little matter thrown in. Energy is different than matter. 

Matter is all the stuff you can touch or that has “weight.” Water, tables, chairs, trees, your body, your cell phone and pretty much everything that you see around you is all matter. 

All of this matter is made up of molecules, and molecules are made up of something even smaller called atoms. Atoms are basically the building blocks of all matter or things. About 99% of your body is made up of atoms of hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen and oxygen. 

Now, these atoms are made up even tinier pieces of matter called subatomic particles. First, you’ve got protons and neutrons which make up the center or nucleus of the atom (protons and neutrons are made up of even smaller particles called quarks but we’re not going to go there today). Next you’ve got electrons which are outside the nucleus (but within the atom).

There are 118 different types of atoms which we call elements and these all make up that periodic table you may remember from high school. All of these elements or atoms are the basic building blocks of everything and can’t be divided up any more. 

Scientists had proven that atoms existed many years ago with mathematics, but we’d never “seen” one until very recently (2017) because they’re actually smaller than a light wave (they finally came up with some technology that could get around this issue, but that’s for another day).

To give you some idea of their tininess, a human hair is about 500,000X wider than an atom. Atoms are SO incredibly small, in fact, that if every atom in a penny was the size of a golf ball, then that penny would be larger than the planet Mars!

Now, here’s the kicker: Atoms themselves are mostly made of empty space! If an atom was the size of a church, the nucleus, or center of that atom, would be the size of a dime! All the rest is space. These things that make up everything you see around you are mostly empty space! What?!?!

But Abby, if atoms are mostly empty space, and everything is made up of atoms, why do objects look and feel solid? Why do humans look and feel solid?

We don’t experience ourselves or anything around as being empty space because everything in and around us is moving so fast that it seems solid. 

The best way I’ve heard this explained is to think about the empty space in an atom like you’d think about an electric fan with rotating blades. When the fan isn’t in motion, you can see that there’s a lot of empty space in the fan, around the blades. You can stick your hand into the space between the blades and wiggle your fingers around in all the nothingness.

But when that fan is turned on the game is changed. If you put your hand into all that “empty space” now you’d get hit by the blades and feel the resistance of something “real.” If you spin something fast enough, it looks solid. 

Most of us were taught in school that electrons orbit the nucleus like planets around the sun. This is a major oversimplification. What scientists say instead is to think of electrons like a swarm of bees, where the individual motions of each bee are too fast to track, but you still see the shape of the overall swarm. It’s these swarms of electrons, attracting and repelling that create the feeling of touching something solid. 

This is why quantum physicists speak like the world is on an LSD trip. 

This is why one of the most famous physicists of our time, Niels Bohr, said: 

“If quantum mechanics hasn’t profoundly shocked you, you haven’t understood it yet. Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.”

Einstein said: “A human being is part of the whole, called by us the ‘Universe’; a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.”

Yes folks, we’re entering a very trippy land. This is mostly because we base so much of what we think we know on Newtonian mechanics (I’m sure you remember Newton and the famous apple falling on his head). Quantum and Newtonian mechanics are very different. Newtonian is good for very large objects (like planets and stars) and Quantum is good for very small objects. We are a very small object made up of teeny tiny things, so quantum is what we should be using when talking about ourselves. 

Let’s get back to our matter/energy talk. We talked about things that are matter: that cell phone you’re likely holding right now, your car or your house.

Now let’s talk about things that are not matter. Things that are not matter include feelings, thoughts and light. Light, of course, lets you see all the matter around you, but it’s different from matter. The main difference? Light doesn’t weigh anything. Even air has a weight, but light, feelings and thoughts don’t. 

But just because it doesn’t weigh anything and you can’t “see it” doesn’t mean you don’t feel it. You believe that likely about light, thoughts and your feelings (that they’re real even though you can’t feel or see all of them), so now I need you to extend that to the energy and vibrational frequency you’re putting out all the time. 

Since you’re mostly made up of atoms and all of these atoms and subatomic particles are in constant motion, they all put out their own distinct frequency or vibration, from low to high. Like frequencies attract other like frequencies. 

So, low vibrational thoughts attract low vibrational experiences or things.

For example, if you want to have more money but you’re stressed out about money, this is a low vibrational frequency. Therefore, you’ll attract negative experiences with money. 

If you want to have a great relationship but you’re super stressed about said relationship, you’re not going to attract what you want there either. If you’re saying, thinking or believing things like, “We’ve tried things before, but changes never stick,” you’ll attract negative experiences in your relationship.

All those thoughts you’re having, and subconscious beliefs are putting out a vibration. Your words might be different, but it’s the vibration that’s doing all the work. 

Think right now about what your dominant vibration is (it’s going to align with the dominant and most frequent thoughts you’re having). 

Now think: “What’s the vibration of my dream life and relationship?” Do they match? Where are the gaps? 

You have to change your energetic vibration in order to change your life and it all begins with your thoughts. As they say, you can’t grow an apple tree with cucumber seeds! If your words are all about apples, but those thoughts and vibrations are all about cucumbers – guess what you’re going to get? 

Here’s what happens and why you’re likely vibrating on a frequency you don’t want:

  1. The same belief, thought repeatedly, becomes hard wired into your brain and becomes your subconscious programming. 
  2. These thoughts and beliefs become “automatic.” 
  3. Since you feel the way you think, certain feelings become embedded and automatic.
  4. These feelings all have a vibrational frequency that you’re putting out there.
  5. Like attracts like so you’re attracting other things, experiences, and people at that lower vibrational frequency.
  6. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: I knew men were bad! It was smart of me not to trust my last boyfriend! 

Everything in your life, right this minute, is a reflection of your vibratory state. It’s a reflection of the frequency you’re operating on.

This is actually good news because it means it’s in your power to shift and create new things in your life. First, though, you have to know where you’re starting from and looking at your current life gives you that starting point. If you want to change how fast your car is going, you can’t do that until you know what your speed is right now. 

Your current, consistent emotional state is your speedometer. Remember, you feel the way you think, so these emotions are letting you know what you’re truly thinking. 

The results in any unhappy or unsatisfactory area of your life, are letting you know what you really, subconsciously believe. 

Let’s talk more about these low and high vibrational states. 

Low vibrational emotions and states are anxiety, jealousy, hate, hopelessness, helplessness, overwhelm, frustration, resentment, and depression. When you’re moving up the scale, you get to something like anger. Anger is actually a higher vibrational state than depression so it’s actually better to be angry than to be depressed. 

However, you’re really looking to experience those high vibrational states the most often. These include gratitude, appreciation, compassion, kindness, gentleness, laughter, ease, confidence, inspiration, calm, happiness, joy, thoughtfulness, openness and willingness. 

If you want to get from a low to a high vibrational state, it’s all about your attention. You change your frequency by where you put your attention. 

If you focus on bad things, you’ll start to feel like poop. And that emotion is the indicator of your frequency.

You get what you focus on. If your vibrating at frequency of need and want (neediness and wanting will attract more need and want). Instead, you need to become what you want so the neediness and want disappear. 

Your life is the reflection of your vibratory state. If you don’t have the things you want, it’s time to focus on your thoughts and creating the vibrational frequency you want to attract. 


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