Are you feeling resentful or exhausted? Is there a fair amount of passive aggressive behavior between you and your partner (or between you and anyone else)? Then you might not be saying “no” enough. Today I’m going to teach you:
- Why it’s so hard to say no
- Why women have a harder time saying no than men
- My top 5 tips for getting great at saying no
- I’ve got a little giveaway today to help you say no more easily, so stick around!
I’ve worked with thousands of people over the years who’ve learned to add “no” to their vocabulary and they’ve learned the same thing! They feel more connected to themselves and others and are truly happier and more content in their worlds.
So, if all that’s true, why the heck is it so hard to say “no” in the first place?!
There are three main reasons:
- Fear of Conflict and Being Disliked
- Our Self Image
Here are my top 5 tips for saying no to others, and yes to yourself:
- Practice, Practice, Practice
- Remember “No” is a Complete Sentence
- Don’t Lie, But You Don’t Have to Say Everything
- If They Won’t Take No for an Answer: Repeat the exact same words (calmly) again.
- Pay Yourself First
All these up-front boundaries and commitments save me a lot of anxiety, stress and discomfort. In the end, I’m happier, calmer, more content and feel more peaceful in my life. I can’t pretend that I still don’t get caught saying yes when I should say no, but it happens way less than it used to, and I try to learn from each of those times so I don’t make the mistake again.
Resources and Links:
Boundaries: How to Identify Them and How to Hold Them
Top 2 Tools for Getting $h*t Done!
Vanessa K. Bohns research: here and here
Katharine Ridgeway O’Brien’s research
If you’ve been feeling resentful, exhausted or stuck in a yes cycle, enter your name and email below to download today’s “Just Say No” quicksheet to help you identify those boundaries now, so you can say no easily later.