Learn to Hold Your Boundaries with Healthy Selfishness (Podcast Episode 265)

You’ve tried to draw a boundary with your partner, boss or best friend, but they call you selfish, self-absorbed or even narcissistic! How could dare you prioritize yourself over what they want? In my new book, Boundaries Made Easy (which is dropping in just a couple of weeks on 12/5/23), I dispel the myth that holding a boundary is selfish and explain what healthy selfishness is all about. Today, I’m giving you a sneak peek into what selfishness really is and how you can learn to hold your boundaries with healthy selfishness.

Click here to read the full blog and show notes!

Resources: Learn to Hold Your Boundaries with Healthy Selfishness

Maslow, A.H. (1943/1996). “Is human nature basically selfish?” in Future Visions: The Unpublished Papers of Abraham Maslow, E. Hoffman (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications), 107-114.

Kaufman SB, Jauk E. Healthy Selfishness and Pathological Altruism: Measuring Two Paradoxical Forms of Selfishness. Front Psychol. 2020 May 21;11:1006. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01006. PMID: 32528378; PMCID: PMC7265883.

Psychiatry. Journal for the Study of Interpersonal Process, Washington (The William Alanson Psychiatric Foundation), Vol. 2 (1939), pp. 507-523. Reprint in the Yearbook of the International Erich Fromm Society, Vol. 5 (1994): Dealing with the Alien, Münst

Oakley, B. A. (2013). Concepts and implications of altruism bias and pathological altruism. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 110(supplement_2), 10408-10415. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1302547110

Seelig, B. J., & Rosof, L. S. (2001). Normal and Pathological Altruism. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 49(3), 933-959. https://doi.org/10.1177/00030651010490031901

Kaufman, S. B., Yaden, D. B., Hyde, E., & Tsukayama, E. (2019). The Light vs. Dark Triad of Personality: Contrasting Two Very Different Profiles of Human Nature. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 438704. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00467

Oakley, Barbara, Knafo, Ariel, McGrath, Michael. (2016) Pathological altruism—an introduction Barbara Oakley , Ariel Knafo , and Michael McGrath

Focus on Self-Love Not Just Self-Compassion

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