It’s something you do about 20,000 times a day: breathing. But don’t be fooled by its simplicity. Breathing isn’t just about keeping you alive; it’s a powerful tool that influences your emotions, thoughts, and overall well-being. Whether you’re feeling scared, excited, worried, happy, or calm, your breath reflects it all. And here’s the best part: by learning to control your breath, you can actually take charge of your emotional state and calm your mind. Today you’ll learn about the science of breathing and how that’s connected to your emotions, and seven specific breathing techniques, including what’s appropriate for different mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and trauma survivors. If you’ve had a hard time with breathing exercises before (or not), today’s episode will help your life.
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The Science of Breathing and Emotions
Breathing is intricately connected to your autonomic (some say automatic) nervous system (ANS), the part of your body that controls involuntary actions like your heart rate and digestion. The autonomic nervous system has two main branches: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).
The SNS is your “fight or flight” system. It gets activated when you’re scared, stressed, or excited. The PNS is your “rest and digest” system, which kicks in when you’re relaxed and calm. However, the PNS is also responsible for the freeze response, which occurs when your body becomes immobilized under extreme stress, rather than reacting with fight or flight.
Think about the last time you were startled. Maybe a loud noise shocked you, or someone swerved into your lane, nearly missing your car, while you were driving to work. Your breath likely became fast and shallow, your heart raced, and your body prepared to react. That’s your SNS taking over. Now, remember a time you were lying in a hammock, reading a good book, or just watching the waves roll in. Your breathing was slow and deep, and you felt at ease; that’s your PNS at work. However, if you’ve ever been in a situation where you felt completely frozen (like your partner seems upset as they ask you a question and you’re afraid of giving the wrong response, that’s your PNS engaging your freeze response, a survival mechanism designed to protect you when neither fight nor flight seems possible.
Fawning: A Complex Stress Response
Beyond fight, flight, and freeze, there’s also fawning, which is a stress response where you attempt to appease or please others to avoid conflict or danger. Fawning is primarily driven by a mix of both sympathetic and parasympathetic responses. It often involves an initial SNS activation (feeling stressed or anxious) but is regulated by the PNS, which urges compliance as a protective strategy.
Polyvagal Theory and Breathwork
Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how the autonomic nervous system regulates safety, connection, and survival responses. It’s special because the “traditional” models divide the ANS into just the sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) systems. Polyvagal Theory also introduces the vagus nerve, which plays a crucial role in emotional regulation and resilience.
The vagus nerve has two key branches:
- Dorsal Vagal (Freeze Response): This branch is associated with shutdown, dissociation, and immobilization when you feel like there’s an extreme threat or there’s overwhelm.
- Ventral Vagal (Social Engagement System): This branch helps regulate calm, connection, and safety, promoting relaxation, connection, and social bonding.
Effectiveness of Polyvagal Theory in Trauma Recovery
Research has shown that individuals with a well-regulated ventral vagal state experience better emotional resilience, reduced anxiety, and improved overall well-being. Trauma survivors often have an overactive dorsal vagal response, leading to dissociation or emotional numbing. By engaging in gentle breathwork, trauma survivors can activate the ventral vagal system, bringing the nervous system back to a place of safety and regulation.
How Different Emotions Show Up in Your Breathing
- Fear & Anxiety: You breathe in short, rapid, and shallow breaths, often through the mouth. This reduces oxygen exchange and increases carbon dioxide (CO₂), which can amplify feelings of panic.
An example of this could be when you’re about to give a big presentation or have a difficult conversation, you might notice that your chest tightens, and your breaths become quicker. This can make you feel even more anxious. This could lead to hyperventilation, which creates a feedback loop that intensifies anxiety, making it crucial to regain control of your breath.
- Excitement: When you’re excited, your breathing is quicker but still rhythmic, often accompanied by an increased heart rate.
Think of when you’re at a sports game, your favorite team is about to score, and you’re on the edge of your seat. Your breath speeds up, matching your heightened state of arousal.
- Worry & Stress: In this case, your breathing becomes irregular, chest-based, and sometimes you’ll even catch yourself holding your breath.
Ever catch yourself holding your breath while reading a stressful email or scrolling through a tense news article? That’s your body’s subtle response to stress. Research has shown that breath-holding during stress signals the brain to maintain a heightened state of alertness, making it even harder to relax.
- Calm & Happiness: Breathing is slow, deep, and steady, often through the nose.
After a yoga session or during meditation, your breath is calm, your heart rate is steady, and you feel a sense of inner peace. Neuroscientists have found that slow, intentional breathing can activate the vagus nerve, a crucial component of the parasympathetic nervous system. The vagus nerve runs from the brainstem to the abdomen, influencing functions like heart rate, digestion, and mood regulation. When activated through deep breathing, it signals the body to shift into a relaxed state, reducing stress and promoting emotional stability.
- Deep Focus (Flow State): Breathing is subtle, almost imperceptible, and primarily through the diaphragm.
When you’re engrossed in a project or hobby you love, time flies by, and you barely notice your breathing, it’s calm and controlled.
How Athletes Use Breathing to Prepare for Competition
I want to say a word about athletes here to drive my point home about breathing. Elite athletes understand the power of breath control to either calm themselves before a high-pressure moment or to energize their bodies for peak performance. Many use deep, controlled breathing to slow their heart rate and stay focused under pressure, while others use fast, powerful breathing techniques to hype themselves up before a race or match. This strategic breathwork helps regulate adrenaline and optimize oxygen intake for better endurance and reaction time. So, you might see someone jumping up and down and taking powerful, quick breaths to amp up for a race, or you might see an athlete using long, slow breaths to calm themselves before an event.
How to Use Breathing to Calm Yourself
The beauty of your breath is that it’s a two-way street. It can change with your emotions, but you can also use it to change your emotions. Let me repeat that. Your breathing changes with your emotions, but you can also use it to change your emotions. The best part? It’s always with you, ready to help whenever you need it. So the next time you find yourself overwhelmed, anxious, or stuck in your thoughts, use your breath to pause, take a breath, and reset.
When you deliberately slow and deepen your breathing, you shift from the sympathetic nervous system (stress mode) to the parasympathetic nervous system (calm mode). Here are evidence-based techniques that help:
I. Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing:
What it does: Lowers cortisol (stress hormone), slows heart rate, and reduces blood pressure.
Try this:
Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, letting your belly expand (not your chest). Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds. Repeat for two full minutes (up to five minutes is great).
Real-Life Application:
Use this before a big meeting, when you’re having a big talk with your partner or a friend, or any time you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just a few minutes can reset your whole mood.
II. 4-7-8 Breathing (Relaxation Response):
What it does: Engages the parasympathetic nervous system, slows heart rate, and promotes relaxation.
Try this:
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds. Repeat 4-5 times.
Real-Life Application:
Use this if you have trouble sleeping or feel anxiety creeping in before an important event.
III. Box Breathing (Used by Navy SEALs for Stress Control):
What it does: Enhances focus, reduces stress, and brings a sense of balance to the nervous system.
Try this:
Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds. Repeat for two to five minutes.
Real-Life Application:
Use this when you need to regain composure in high-pressure situations like interviews, fights with a loved one, or public speaking.
IV. One-Nostril Breathing (Alternate Nostril Breathing):
What it does: Balances oxygen flow between brain hemispheres, promotes mental clarity, and reduces anxiety.
Try this:
Close your right nostril with your thumb, and inhale deeply through your left nostril. Close your left nostril with your ring finger, then exhale through your right nostril. Continue alternating for two to five minutes.
Real-Life Application:
Use this when you need mental clarity before making an important decision.
V. Straw Breathing (Pursed Lip Breathing):
What it does: Helps slow exhalation, increases relaxation and reduces shortness of breath.
Try this:
Inhale deeply through your nose, then exhale slowly through pursed lips as if blowing through a straw. Make your exhale twice as long as your inhale. You can also use a real straw for this. Inhale for a 7 or 8 count and then exhale through a straw or pursed lips for a count of 15 to 16.
Real-Life Application:
Use this when feeling breathless or anxious to regain a sense of control over your breathing.
VI. Physiological Sigh (Quick Stress Release):
What it does: Helps reset the nervous system, lowers stress quickly.
Try this: Take a deep inhale through the nose. At the top of the breath, take another short inhale. Exhale fully and slowly through the mouth. Repeat 1-3 times.
Real-Life Application: Use this when you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or need a quick way to regain composure.
VII. Coherent Breathing (Optimal for Nervous System Regulation)
What it does: Balances oxygen and CO₂, bringing a sense of calm.
Try this: Breathe in for 5-6 seconds. Breathe out for 5-6 seconds. Maintain this rhythm for 5-10 minutes.
Real-Life Application: Use this before bedtime, during meditation, or whenever you need to shift into a relaxed state.
Make sure you download my Free Quick-Reference Guide to these 7 Breath Techniques
If you’re in my One Love Collective Online Patreon Community, you’re also getting
- If Breathing Techniques Feel Scary Journaling Prompts (all tiers)
- Breathwork Tracker (all tiers)
- Trauma-Informed Breathing Techniques and Resources (tiers 2 and 3)
- A script you can follow to create a calming breathing practice in your own voice (tiers 2 and 3)
- Weekly Mindful Breathing Journal (tier 3)
- List of Other Resources to Help You with Your Breathing Education (tier 3)
- Allowing Your Breath Visualization recorded by me (tier 3)
If this episode resonates with you and you’d like to dig deeper but aren’t up for the commitment of joining my Patreon Online Community, you can buy the bundle of all these extras today for $8.
Who Should Use Breathing Techniques and When to Be Cautious
Breathing exercises can be incredibly beneficial for most people, but they are not one-size-fits-all. While breathwork is widely used to alleviate stress, anxiety, and even symptoms of depression, there are cases where certain techniques might not be advisable.
- Trauma and PTSD: Some trauma survivors may find that deep breathing or specific breath retention techniques (like 4-7-8 breathing) can trigger anxiety or flashbacks. This is because slowing the breath too much or holding it can create sensations similar to dissociation or panic. For individuals with PTSD, gentler methods like Coherent Breathing or Straw Breathing may be a better starting point.
- Anxiety and Panic Disorders: While breathwork is commonly recommended for anxiety, some people with panic disorders may feel increased distress with structured breathing techniques that involve extended breath holds. In such cases, focusing on Diaphragmatic Breathing or One-Nostril Breathing can provide relaxation without triggering panic symptoms.
- Depression and Low Energy: For those experiencing depression, slow and controlled breathing techniques might not always be helpful, as they can deepen sluggishness. Instead, more energizing breath techniques like Box Breathing or Physiological Sigh can help uplift mood and promote alertness.
- Medical Conditions: People with conditions like asthma, COPD, or cardiovascular issues should consult a healthcare provider before practicing breath control techniques. While some methods, like Pursed Lip Breathing (Straw Breathing), can be beneficial for respiratory conditions, others may require modifications.
Final Thoughts
Breathing is one of the few bodily functions that we can control voluntarily, and using it consciously can shift our emotional state in real time. Whether you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or just need to reset, these techniques can help bring you back to a state of balance.
Grab the Ultimate Breathing Techniques Bundle for just $8 and unlock powerful resources to help you improve your breathwork, reduce stress, and enhance your well-being.
What’s inside?
- Free Quick-Reference Guide to 7 Breath Techniques
- If Breathing Techniques Feel Scary Journaling Prompts
- Weekly Mindful Breathing Journal
- List of Other Resources to Help you with your Breathing Education
- Breathwork Tracker
- Trauma-Informed Breathing Techniques and Resources
- A script you can follow to create a calming breathing practice in your own voice
- Allowing Your Breath Visualization recorded by me
Don’t miss out—get your bundle today and take your breathing game to the next level!
Resources for Powerful Techniques to Breathe Yourself to Calm
Join Abby’s One Love Collective on Patreon!
Grab the bundle! Seven Powerful Techniques to Breathe Yourself to Calm
Now available on Amazon! The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier by Dr. Abby Medcalf
Your People-Pleasing Might Be a Trauma Response
Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us by Stephen W. Porges PhD and Seth Porges
Mindful Relationships: Seven Skills for Success by B Grace Bullock
