When it comes to positive thinking you’ve likely got two big problems that I’m going to help you solve today:

  • You’re in a negative space too often and that’s affecting your relationships. Maybe your negative thinking has you feeling depressed, anxious, impatient or easily frustrated. This, of course, impacts everything from your communication to your connection in all your relationships.
  • You get into a negative space because of other people’s negative energy and emotions or because you start worrying about what other people are thinking. Then you start to spin and there you go down the negative thinking spiral!

Last week I told you about the Goodbye Negative Thinking Trinity and we discussed the first pillar, which was starting your day with positive momentum. No worries if you haven’t listened yet, because all the podcasts stand on their own – you can go back and check that out when you’re ready.

Today, we’re going to take that a step further and talk about the second pillar of the Goodbye Negative Thinking Trinity, which is calibration.

What the Heck is Calibration?

Your body is comprised of matter (or mass) and energy, neither of which can be destroyed. The first Law of Thermodynamics says that energy can be changed from one form or another, but it can’t be created or destroyed. The energy we’re talking about here in your body are electrical signals and impulses and your chemical reactions. In fact, at any given time, you’re putting out about 20 watts of energy, which is enough to power a light bulb!

The Universe is a Closed System, but Humans are Open Systems

The universe is a closed system but ecosystems, like your body, are open systems. Because we’re an open system, we’re always exchanging energy with our environment. You can therefore gain energy or lose it by how you’re interacting with yourself and your environment.

Calibration is your answer! And it’s easier than you think.

What happens in your day is that you start to calibrate to other people and situations. The goal is for you to be the dominant (positive) vibration in the room. Instead of calibrating to others, which is a fear-based model (people pleasing, codependency, low self-esteem, no self-confidence, self-consciousness) you have others calibrate to a positive state with you.

Calibrating first thing in the morning (getting that positive momentum going) and then as often as needed during the day, is the key to true “positive” thinking.

Negative Thinking Helps You See What You Do Want

I don’t want you to be afraid of any negative thinking during your day. Instead, I want you to reframe it as a signal to calibrate. Because, when you’re seeing or feeling what you don’t want, it’s a signal that you need to think about what you do want. Think of it as a reminder for now, not a fact.

Be the Dominant Vibration in the Room

As you focus on others, let that be a reminder to focus on yourself. As you notice someone else’s pain, negativity, or fear – focus on making sure you’re not in that same space. Don’t try to calibrate to other people. Don’t try to get them to like you, understand you, or listen to you. Don’t focus on “keeping them happy” or not rocking the boat. This is you trying to calibrate to them, and it never works. This is grasping, fear-based energy and, ultimately, it leads to negative self-talk, doubt and even self-loathing.

Focus on the Emotions, Not the Details!

The way to be more general in your thoughts is to focus on it on an emotional basis rather than a detailed basis. You can do that with this 2-step process:

  1. Name a belief or way of thinking that’s been hindering you.
  2. What’s the emotion that best describes how that belief or those thoughts make you feel?

Click here to get my FREE Calibration Exercise, so you can listen to it every morning and get your vibration to that higher state!

Resources and Links:

Aaron Freeman, “Planning Ahead Can Make a Difference in the End,” All Things Considered, NPR, June 1, 2005.

Clara Moskowitz, “Fact or Fiction?: Energy Can Neither Be Created Nor Destroyed,” Scientific American, August 5, 2014.

Tam Hunt and Jonathan Schooler, “The ‘Easy Part’ of the Hard Problem: A Resonance Theory of Consciousness,” Authorea, January 4, 2019.

Abraham Hicks

 Ready to find out what goes on inside that crazy mind of Abby’s? 

Subscribe & Review in iTunes
Are you subscribed to my podcast yet? Well, what are you waiting for? You know you want to make your relationship awesome and getting a weekly reminder on specific ways to do just that is a perfect way to get there! Click here to subscribe in iTunes
If you’re up for giving me some extra love, I’d be so very grateful if you’d leave me a review over on iTunes too (make iTunes a link). Reviews help other people find my podcast and they’re also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you so much!

Get your weekly newsletter with all things Abby and life

Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself)!

You have Successfully Subscribed!