Why it’s Hard to Ask for Help and 3 Tips for Making it Easier

Hello. My name is Abby, and I hate to ask for help. Despite all my years of therapy and teaching others how important it is, asking for help is still something I find difficult to do and I know I’m not alone! Today, I’ll be sharing the reasons why it’s hard to ask for help, the research behind the benefits of doing it and my top three tips for becoming someone who asks and receives.

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My new book just came out! The book! https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

Research and Resources for Why it’s Hard to Ask for Help and 3 Tips for Making it Easier

My new book is out! Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy. Pick up your copy here: abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

All You Have to Do Is Ask by Wayne Baker

Good, Kayla and Shaw, Alex. (2022) “Why Kids Are Afraid to Ask for Help,” Scientific American

Zhao, X., & Epley, N. (2022). Surprisingly Happy to Have Helped: Underestimating Prosociality Creates a Misplaced Barrier to Asking for Help. Psychological Science. https://doi.org/10.1177/09567976221097615

Curry, O. S., Rowland, L. A., Van Lissa, C. J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J., & Whitehouse, H. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76, 320-329. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2018.02.014

Flynn, F. J., & Lake, V. K. B. (2008). If you need help, just ask: Underestimating compliance with direct requests for help. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(1), 128–143. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.95.1.128

How to Stop Overthinking and Let Things Go That Bother You

Espinosa, J. C., Antón, C., & Grueso Hinestroza, M. P. (2022). Helping Others Helps Me: Prosocial Behavior and Satisfaction With Life During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 762445. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.762445

Fu, X., Padilla-Walker, L. M., & Brown, M. N. (2017). Longitudinal relations between adolescents’ self-esteem and prosocial behavior toward strangers, friends and family. Journal of Adolescence, 57, 90-98. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2017.04.002

Haller, E., Lubenko, J., Presti, G., Squatrito, V., Constantinou, M., Nicolaou, C., Papacostas, S., Aydın, G., Chong, Y. Y., Chien, W. T., Cheng, H. Y., Ruiz, F. J., B., M., P., D., A., M., Vasiliou, V. S., McHugh, L., Höfer, S., Baban, A., . . . Gloster, A. T. (2022). To Help or Not to Help? Prosocial Behavior, Its Association With Well-Being, and Predictors of Prosocial Behavior During the Coronavirus Disease Pandemic. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 775032. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.775032

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