Last week you learned how to go all whoop-ass on your unconscious mind. This week we’re taking time to look at your conscious thinking and do some work to change it so you can communicate more effectively.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- Two strategies to communicate more effectively. These are simple in concept, but not always easy to stick with. But you know me, I’m going to give you the what and the how!
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Strategy #1: Correct or Effective
Basically, the next time you’re in a disagreement with your partner (or anyone else for that matter), I want you to ask yourself, “Do I want to be correct or effective?”
Shifting to this one question, asking if you want to be correct or effective, really changes the very nature of your engagement with your partner. It puts you on the same team instead of opposing sides of a power struggle.
Strategy #2: Feelings Not Facts
If you’re not resolving a disagreement it might be because you’re focusing on facts and ignoring or minimizing feelings.
Stop focusing on “getting” your partner to believe or agree with your side of things. Instead, focus on how you’re feeling. The wonderful thing here is that your feelings can’t be wrong. So, while someone could continue to argue with you about the “facts” of a situation, they can’t tell you that you don’t feel a certain way.
Overall, when there’s less or no content, and only feelings, there’s not so much someone can argue or debate, so the fighting and animosity generally alleviates almost immediately, creating more closeness and connection.
Resources and Links
I’ve got an awesome exercise that has totally stood the test of time for helping you focus on feelings not facts. It’s super easy and incredibly effective. You can download the I Feel Formula right here and start connecting right now!
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