What do you do when you’re ready to move in together but your partner isn’t? Today I’m putting on my Ask Dr. Abby hat and answering a question from you!
Ask Dr. Abby is the advice segment of the Relationships Made Easy podcast. Submit questions to [email protected]. (I keep it anonymous!)
Here’s the message I received (identifying information and names have been changed):
Dear Dr. Abby,
I have a question about commitment. My boyfriend and I have been dating long-distance for three-and-a-half years. We both have children with our previous partners and the kids are great together. Everything seems great except that big question — when will we move in together?
He says he has commitment issues from his last relationship and can’t commit to moving in together. I’ve have shared how I will be empathic and patient, and I do still want to take that next step. He has in the past made remarks about living together when we’re older and the kids are older. I find that to be kind of a cop out, so I won’t bring it up. He says he gets lost in his boundaries and his abundance of empathy. I feel like he is just putting up walls. And if these aren’t walls and his boundary is that he will never live with anyone again, then he should say that! Don’t string me along knowing I want to take that step!