A New Mindset for Navigating Neurodiverse Relationships (Podcast Episode 331)

If you’re in a relationship where one or both partners are on the autism spectrum, you’ve probably noticed that the usual relationship advice doesn’t quite work for you. You might have read articles, watched videos, or even talked to a therapist, but instead of feeling helpful, that advice often leaves you feeling more frustrated, disconnected, or misunderstood. Here’s why: you’re not just speaking different love languages; you’re coming from different neurological cultures. This isn’t about broken communication. It’s about translation. When you shift your mindset to view your relationship like a cross-cultural partnership, where both people bring strengths, challenges, and a completely valid worldview, you stop trying to fit into someone else’s mold and start building a relationship that actually works for you. Today we’ll explore what it really takes to make a neurodiverse relationship thrive, starting with letting go of neurotypical expectations and embracing a mindset of curiosity, patience, and collaboration.

Click here to read the full blog and show notes!

For the One Love Collective Community:

Tier I:

• Journaling Prompts for Autistic Partners
• Journaling Prompts for Neurotypical Partners (Loving Someone with ASD)
• 20 Conversation Starters for Understanding and Connecting in a Neurodiverse Relationships

Tier II:

• Reframing My Relationship Through a Cross-Cultural Lens Worksheet
• The Neurodiverse Relationship Mindset Checklist: Daily Ways to Stay Curious Instead of Critical
• Weekly Reset: Strengthening Our Relationship as Two Different Cultures
• Neurodiverse Date Night Planner

Tier III:

• Guided Reflection Worksheet: Understanding and Strengthening Your Neurodiverse Relationship
• Relationship Communication Cheat Sheet: Understanding Neurodiverse Differences and Bridging the Gaps
• Sensory Compatibility Checklist for Couples

Resources for A New Mindset for Navigating Neurodiverse Relationships

Join Abby’s One Love Collective on Patreon!

Buy the bundle for this episode for only $8!

Mindfulness Starter Kit

Embrace Autism – RAADS

Lord, C., Brugha, T. S., Charman, T., Cusack, J., Dumas, G., Frazier, T., Jones, E. J., Jones, R. M., Pickles, A., State, M. W., & Taylor, J. L. (2020). Autism spectrum disorder. Nature Reviews Disease Primers, 6(1), 1-23. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41572-0

CDC – Data and Statistics on Autism Spectrum Disorder

Jones, D. R., Botha, M., Ackerman, R. A., King, K., & Sasson, N. J. (2023). Non-autistic observers both detect and demonstrate the double empathy problem when evaluating interactions between autistic and non-autistic adults. Autism, 28(8), 2053. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613231219743

The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome: A Guide to an Intimate Relationship With a Partner Who Has Asperger Syndrome by Maxine C. Aston

Tkalcec, Antonia. Emotion processing deficits in youth with conduct disorder and youth with autism spectrum disorders: potential transdiagnostic factors and neurobiological correlates. 2023, Doctoral Thesis, University of Basel, Faculty of Psychology.

Müller, E., Schuler, A., & Yates, G. B. (2008). Social Challenges and Supports from the Perspective of Individuals with Asperger Syndrome and Other Autism Spectrum Disabilities. Autism, 12, 173-190. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361307086664

Bejerot S, Eriksson JM. Sexuality and gender role in autism spectrum disorder: a case control study. PLoS One. 2014 Jan 31;9(1):e87961. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0087961. PMID: 24498228; PMCID: PMC3909328.

Noble, N., Bueno, N., Lourenco, M., Stafford, J., Williams, A., & Castañeda, C. (2024). Seeking and Attaining Romantic Relationships: Counseling Individuals With Autism Spectrum Disorder. The Family Journal. https://doi.org/10.1177/10664807241248182

Hancock, Grace & Stokes, Mark & Mesibov, Gary. (2020). Differences in Romantic Relationship Experiences for Individuals with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Sexuality and Disability. 38. 10.1007/s11195-019-09573-8.

Beato, A., Sarmento, M.R. & Correia, M. Experiencing Intimate Relationships and Sexuality: A Qualitative Study with Autistic Adolescents and Adults. Sex Disabil 42, 439–457 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11195-024-09838-x

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