Today you’re going to learn one of the foundations of not only a happy, connected relationship, but of a happy, fulfilled life: resilience! The good news is that resilience is a skill you can learn and people in resilient relationships report more ease, satisfaction, contentment, physical health, and connection. So come on this journey with me today while I break down what resilience really is, why you need it to be happy and my top tips for making it happen!

Why do I care about resilience, Abby?

Because you’re going to experience stress in your relationship and, the more resilient you are, the better you’ll be able to cope with stress.

OK – it sounds good, but what the heck is it, Abby?

Resilience is a skill! You’re not born with it. Like any skill, it has some main components and, the more you practice and get good at those core components, the more resilient you and your relationship will be.

Think about learning a sport. There are some basic principles. Once you learn the fundamentals, they become easier and more automatic over time. Psychologists define resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors.”

There are basically four main components of resilience.

I. People Connection

II. Physical Wellbeing

III. Healthy Thinking

There are a few tools I want to mention here:

  1. Learning to be Optimistic
  2. Being Correct vs. Being Effective
  3. Taking Full Responsibility

IV. Meaning

Resources and Links:

How to Stop Stress from Hurting Your Relationship

How to Deal with Passive Aggressive People

Building Trust in Your Relationship

10 Ways to Build Resilience

Answering Bids in Your Relationship

How to Make Mindfulness a Consistent Habit

Why You’re Upset in Your Relationships

Abby Medcalf, PhD, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing


If you want to take all this learning deeper and really integrate these concepts, you can take my Optimism Jumpstart Workshop for FREE and start feeling more ease, joy and connection in your life today! (P.S. It includes a quiz!)


 Ready to find out what goes on inside that crazy mind of Abby’s? 

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