Last week I chatted with you about the juncture of self-esteem and self-confidence.

Today I’m going to teach you:

  • The three components of self-compassion
  • Why it’s so important to your love life (and all your relationships)
  • Why some think it’s even more important than your self-esteem
  • A top tip to become more self-compassionate in just minutes a day

Top Take-A-Ways:

Kristin Neff is the Queen of self-compassion. If you don’t know about her stuff, you need to. Her research is impeccable and compelling.

In some of her more recent work she’s talked about how self-compassion is even more important than self-esteem. She posits that if you work on self-compassion, it will naturally flow that you’ll build your confidence and self-esteem.

Neff says, “Self-compassion is about relating to ourselves kindly, as we are, flaws and all.”

When you’re self-compassionate, you’re able to see the difference between making a bad decision and being a bad person. You understand that your worth is unconditional on a situation, something you said or thoughts you might have.

Neff outlines three core components to Self-Compassion:

  1. Self-kindness: the idea here is that we treat ourselves as we would our best friend; with understanding, compassion, patience, empathy and gentleness (instead of being critical and judgmental).
  2. Recognizing our common humanity: this is all about feeling connected with others instead of feeling isolated. We all have struggles and you’re not so different. It’s not, how am I different than others? It’s how am I the same as others? Our struggles connect us to others, not distance ourselves from others.
  3. Mindfulness: Don’t ignore your pain and also don’t exaggerate it. Instead, be in the moment with what’s real.

Neff says, “Self-compassion is not a way of judging ourselves positively, it’s a way of relating to ourselves kindly.”

Resources and Links:

https://self-compassion.org

Exercises for self-compassion

Self-compassion test

 

Enter your name and email below to receive an AMAZING tip on building self-compassion: The Self-Compassion Break.

 Ready to find out what goes on inside that crazy mind of Abby’s? 

Subscribe & Review in iTunes
Are you subscribed to my podcast yet? Well, what are you waiting for? You know you want to make your relationship awesome and getting a weekly reminder on specific ways to do just that is a perfect way to get there! Click here to subscribe in iTunes
 
If you’re up for giving me some extra love, I’d be so very grateful if you’d leave me a review over on iTunes too (make iTunes a link). Reviews help other people find my podcast and they’re also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you so much!