The Seven Habits of Intimate Relationships (backed by research)

We know from the research that having intimate relationships is the key to mental and physical health. But what exactly qualifies as intimacy? Today I’ll teach you what intimacy really is and the seven habits of intimate relationships, backed by research, so you can build connection, joy, and ease in all your relationships.

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Research for The Seven Habits of Intimate Relationships:

Allen, KA., Gray, D.L., Baumeister, R.F. et al. The Need to Belong: a Deep Dive into the Origins, Implications, and Future of a Foundational Construct. Educ Psychol Rev 34, 1133–1156 (2022).

Friedman, H. S., & Kern, M. L. (2014). Personality, Well-Being, and Health*. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115123

Coan, J. A., Schaefer, H. S., & Davidson, R. J. (2006). Lending a Hand. Psychological Science. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01832.x

Gouin JP, Carter CS, Pournajafi-Nazarloo H, Glaser R, Malarkey WB, Loving TJ, Stowell J, Kiecolt-Glaser JK. Marital behavior, oxytocin, vasopressin, and wound healing. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2010 Aug;35(7):1082-90. doi: 10.1016/j.psyneuen.2010.01.009.

Nezlek, J. B., Richardson, D. S., Green, L. R., & Schatten-Jones, E. C. (2002). Psychological well-being and day-to-day social interaction among older adults. Personal Relationships, 9(1), 57-71. https://doi.org/10.1111/1475-6811.00004

Oishi, S., Graham, J., Kesebir, S., & Galinha, I. C. (2013). Concepts of Happiness Across Time and Cultures. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167213480042

People Thinking About People, The Vicious Cycle of Being a Social Outcast in One’s Own Mind; The Social Outcast by John T. Cacioppo and Louise C. Hawkley

Berkman, Lisa and Glass Thomas. (2000). Social Integration, Social Networks, Social Support, and Health, Social Epidemiology edited by Lisa Berkman and Ichiro Kawachi

Whisman, M. A. (2012). Relationship discord and the prevalence, incidence, and treatment of psychopathology. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407512455269

EBERHART, N. K., & HAMMEN, C. L. (2006). Interpersonal predictors of onset of depression during the transition to adulthood. Personal Relationships, 13(2), 195-206. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2006.00113.x

Richard G. Wight, Allen J. LeBlanc, and M. V. Lee Badgett, 2013: Same-Sex Legal Marriage and Psychological Well-Being: Findings From the California Health Interview Survey American Journal of Public Health 103, 339_346, https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2012.301113

Kohn, J. L., & Averett, S. L. (2014). The effect of relationship status on health with dynamic health and persistent relationships. Journal of Health Economics, 36, 69-83. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jhealeco.2014.03.010

Ben-Ari, A., & Lavee, Y. (2007). Dyadic closeness in marriage: From the inside story to a conceptual model. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407507081451

Looseleaf for Intimate Relationships by Rowland Miller

Berscheid, Ellen, Snyder, Mark and Omoto, Allen. (2004). Measuring Closeness: The Relationships Closeness Inventory (RCI) Revisited. Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy edited by Debra J. Mashek and Arthur Aron.

Sels, L., Reis, H.T., Randall, A.K., Verhofstadt, L. (2021). Emotion Dynamics in Intimate Relationships: The Roles of Interdependence and Perceived Partner Responsiveness. In: Waugh, C.E., Kuppens, P. (eds) Affect Dynamics. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org

Resources for The Seven Habits of Intimate Relationships:

How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Personal Relationships

How to Be Honest and Build Trust in a Relationship

Empathy in Relationships: The Key to Connection and Communication

Dr. Abby Medcalf’s TEDx Talk: The Real Reason Relationships Fail

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