When Your Partner Is Being Evasive, Withholding Information, or Lying: A Guide to Navigating Relationship Deception (Podcast Episode 341)

Nothing makes your stomach drop quite like that moment when you realize your partner isn’t telling you the truth. Whether it’s an outright lie, a carefully omitted detail, or that uneasy feeling that they’re sidestepping around something important, suspecting deception in your relationship is gut-wrenching. And when gaslighting enters the picture? That’s when you start questioning not just them, but your own reality. But here’s the good news: you’re not powerless, you’re not crazy, and there are concrete, research-backed ways to handle this situation. Today I’m talking about everything, including types of deception, why people lie, some misconceptions about deception, whether it’s possible to rebuild trust, when to walk away, and my five-step plan for how to deal with deception in your relationship.

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Can You Trust Again After Betrayal? Three Key Areas to Heal Any Relationship

Signs That Someone is Gaslighting You and What to Do About it

Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?

How to Be Honest and Build Trust in a Relationship

Pittarello, A., Rubaltelli, E., & Motro, D. (2016). Legitimate lies: The relationship between omission, commission, and cheating. European Journal of Social Psychology, 46(4), 481-491. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2179

Jacobsen, C., Fosgaard, T. R., & Pascual-Ezama, D. (2018). WHY DO WE LIE? A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO THE DISHONESTY LITERATURE. Journal of Economic Surveys, 32(2), 357-387. https://doi.org/10.1111/joes.12204

Sprigings, S., Brown, C. J., & Ten Brinke, L. (2023). Deception is associated with reduced social connection. Communications Psychology, 1(1), 1-10. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44271-023-00021-0

Strömwall, L., & Granhag, P. A. (2003). How to Detect Deception? Arresting the Beliefs of Police Officers, Prosecutors and Judges. Psychology, Crime & Law, 9(1), 19–36. https://doi.org/10.1080/10683160308138

Barrett, L. F., Adolphs, R., Marsella, S., Martinez, A., & Pollak, S. D. (2019). Emotional Expressions Reconsidered: Challenges to Inferring Emotion From Human Facial Movements. Psychological Science in the Public Interest : A Journal of the American Psychological Society, 20(1), 1. https://doi.org/10.1177/1529100619832930

Bartholomew, J. B., & Sanders, S. L. (2018). Managing Difficult Conversations. Kinesiology Review, 7(4), 358-362. Retrieved Jun 26, 2025, from https://doi.org/10.1123/kr.2018-0041

Monteith, M. J., Burns, M. D., & Hildebrand, L. K. (2018). Navigating successful confrontations: What should I say and how should I say it? Confronting Prejudice and Discrimination, 225-248. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-814715-3.00006-0

Peterson, C. (1996). Deception in Intimate Relationships. International Journal of Psychology, 31(6), 279–288. https://doi.org/10.1080/002075996401034

Xia, Shuang. An investigation about relationship maintenance strategies after the discovery of deception about infidelity, Texas Tech University Thesis 2013-08

Jang, S. A., Smith, S., & Levine, T. (2002). To stay or to leave? the role of attachment styles in communication patterns and potential termination of romantic relationships following discovery of deception. Communication Monographs, 69(3), 236–252. https://doi.org/10.1080/03637750216543

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