How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Abandonment

If you have abandonment issues, you have a persistent fear of rejection or isolation in your relationships. This means you struggle with trust, codependency, healthy boundaries, and insecurity which, of course, negatively impacts your interpersonal relationships and leaves you feeling anxious, depressed and resentful. Today we’ll be talking about the signs you might be missing, the core issues behind your fears, and my top three strategies to overcome your fear of rejection and abandonment.

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Resources and Research for How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Abandonment

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Shaver, P. R., & Clark, C. L. (1994). The psychodynamics of adult romantic attachment. In J. M. Masling & R. F. Bornstein (Eds.), Empirical perspectives on object relations theory (pp. 105–156). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/

Ayduk, O., Downey, G., & Kim, M. (2001). Rejection sensitivity and depressive symptoms in women. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 868–877. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167201277009

Pietromonaco, P. R., & Barrett, L. F. (1997). Working models of attachment and daily social interactions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(6), 1409–1423. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.73.6.1409

Buunk, B. P. (1997). Personality, birth order and attachment styles as related to various types of jealousy. Personality and Individual Differences, 23(6), 997–1006. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(97)00136-0

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2005). Attachment Security, Compassion, and Altruism. Current Directions in Psychological Science. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2005.00330.x

Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2002). Perfectionism and maladjustment: An overview of theoretical, definitional, and treatment issues. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 5–31). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/10458-001

Leary, M. R., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory. In M. P. Zanna (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology, Vol. 32, pp. 1–62). Academic Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2601(00)80003-9

Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26. https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.940781

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself  by Kristin Neff

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