I have long believed that the tools I teach apply to any and all relationships. However, most of us were taught to act differently everywhere. How you act with your boss at work isn’t how you’re supposed to act with your best friend. The idea has always been that there are work communication tools, couple’s communication tools, and different techniques you’d use with your children, parents, and Aunt Joan.

That’s a mistake. You are one, whole person. When we divide ourselves into different compartments it becomes exhausting and frustrating. It’s hard to know what’s right in each situation. “Am I saying too much? Too little?” “Did I just embarrass myself?”

I want you using the same tools everywhere. There’s one “you” in your relationships, and that’s it.

Here’s the key: Your tools and ways of being are the same across the board, but your boundaries are distinct in different types of relationships.

So, before I talk about the 3 Universal tools that work in every relationship, I want to talk about this boundary piece.

Let’s Talk Boundaries!

I’ve talked about boundaries before but let me brush you up on an aspect that’s critical to understand here. Namely, boundaries are on a continuum from thin to thick. I want you to imagine a straight line. On one end are the thin boundaries and on the other end are thick boundaries. Different types of relationships call for different boundaries, along that thin/thick continuum.

Three Tools for Every Relationship:

1. Stop Competing

2. Focus on Love, Not Fear

3. Make the 18-Second Shift

 

Resources and Links:

Boundaries: How to Identify Them and How to Hold Them

How Attached Are You in Your Relationship?

The Real Problem in Your Relationship

Competing Stops You from Listening and Connecting

Relationships Aren’t Fair

Being Happy for Your Partner Equals a Happy Marriage

How to Set Intention in Just 18 Seconds (The 18-Second Shift)

 

Do you like my podcast? Then it would be so helpful if you left a review! Here’s how:

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app on your mobile device (you can also find it in your app store).
  2. Use the search field to search for Relationships Made Easy with Dr. Abby Medcalf and tap on it.
  3. Scroll down until you see Write a Review – tap on it to leave your review!

 Ready to find out what goes on inside that crazy mind of Abby’s? 

Subscribe & Review in iTunes
Are you subscribed to my podcast yet? Well, what are you waiting for? You know you want to make your relationship awesome and getting a weekly reminder on specific ways to do just that is a perfect way to get there! Click here to subscribe in iTunes
 
If you’re up for giving me some extra love, I’d be so very grateful if you’d leave me a review over on iTunes too (make iTunes a link). Reviews help other people find my podcast and they’re also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you so much!